September 2009
94 posts
“We can no longer afford to ignore new technology’s impact on road safety....”
– Okay, okay, Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood, you’ve convinced me: Everyone is saying distracted driving needs to stop. I highly encourage you to read the full blog post about the “distracted driving summit” at Whitehouse.gov; it’s poorly written in the cutest way.
“Just because the jersey says Penn doesn’t mean they spend like Wharton.”
– Jon Tannenwald, on Penn football.
A note
Yes, this new TV blog is just a scheme to increase my Tumblarity by reblogging myself over and over. I promise not to do it too much. (Also, several of you fill up my Tumblr dashboard with Internet memes over and over — this is my revenge.) And if you’ve noticed that I told you to stay away yet also have reblogged killyrtv twice… well, it’s a good thing no one remembers...
WatchAmerican Pie, edited for television. MILF: Mom I’d like to feel! (via killyrtv)
WatchThe Fightins is right. This is the most animated balk call in baseball history.
Types of YouTube videos I could watch all day long
Puppies, especially Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppies
Buzzer beaters, especially that 90-footer from that Division III game a few years back
Newscaster bloopers, especially that anchor fainting
Walkoff homers
Fat people falling
Mathnet
“Religion has a long history of drawing hope out of suffering, but there’s...”
– And my favorite sentence in a news story in recent weeks comes from Rachel Zoll of the AP. Congrats, Rachel!
“We love this idea of prohibitions. We can’t live without them. They are...”
– Charles Whitebread, “The History of the Non-Medical Use of Drugs in the United States”
“Where the fuck this chicken come from, I thought I ordered ribs!”
– Morris Day, Saturday Night Live 10/29/1990 (the 5th of 11 historical SNL F-bombs) (via whelliston)
It’s so sad that saying “fuck” on NBC after 11:35 p.m. is some sort of terrible sin. Yay America!
“Yoko Ono… invents a logo called Seventh-Generation Eye that causes...”
– A summary of a plot point from Ralph Nader’s first novel, a 736-page work titled Only the Super-Rich Can Save Us! (via The New Yorker)
“I always keep a stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.”
– W.C. Fields
1 tag
Tonight’s Parks and Recreation was excellent.
“Plants grown this way shoot up rapidly and produce plants free of stems and...”
– Look, even if there were a way to grow a plant free of stems, I still think it wouldn’t cost six grand for an ounce of plant material. (again, via Drug WarRant)
“Only three of the 763 ‘sneak-and-peek’ requests in fiscal year 2008...”
– Don’t you feel safer already? (via Drug WarRant)
“Sadder still is Phillips’ compulsion to go on national TV to promote her...”
– Uhm, Jenice? Probably.
“During a bizarre hearing there yesterday, a Superior Court judge dismissed...”
– Michael Vick must wish he had this New Jersey judge. The Daily News also notes: “Morgan, the prosecutor, said in court that the owner of the cows was ‘very upset’ by the incident.”
“‘Don’t hate my father,’ Mackenzie Phillips tells PEOPLE. But...”
– How do you get people to buy your memoir if you’re Mackenzie Phillips? Yes, that should do.
“The scam artist, who was sporting a crude ID that consisted of a small photo...”
– The police should totally release a photo of this scam artist’s identification card.
“The report also found that compared to teens who have five to seven family...”
– From a Join Together press release titled, “Teens Who Eat Infrequent Family Dinners Likelier to Drink, Smoke, Use Drugs.” I love science.
“With guns drawn and flashlights cutting through darkened rooms, Polk County...”
– One good thing about drug prohibition is it always leads to hilarious stories like this. Update: Be sure to watch the video.
“Despite all the pretentiousness of rock ‘n’ roll, rock...”
– Jay Howard, sociology professor at IUPUI, quoted in Rapture Ready!
“We’ll arrest them on the charge of lack of small town hospitality.”
– Kalona, Iowa is having its police force stop out-of-town cars in the hopes they’ll visit the town for that day. Wait, what?
