Complete* list of numbers used in the first episode of ESPN’s Numbers Never* Lie
ESPN has a new show! It’s called Numbers Never* Lie; according to a press release it “feature[s] roundtable discussion pitting the wisdom of professional athletes against the pragmatism of statisticians.”
Though the release says the show is co-hosted by Charissa Thompson and ESPN NFL reporter Michael Smith, it’s actually Thompson hosting with a panel of Smith, ESPN fantasy guru Matthew Berry and former Jets and Chiefs coach Herm Edwards.
To see what kind of numbers Numbers Never* Lie would be using, I compiled a complete* list of the ones used in the show’s first episode. The numbers below are only those spoken; several other numbers did appear on screen but no one mentioned them.
2: Number of turnovers for Tony Romo in fourth quarter
7: Number of turnovers for the Steelers yesterday
422: Number of yards Cam Newton threw for on Sunday
14: Number of points Cowboys led by in fourth quarter
100: Percentage of blame Romo deserves for the Cowboys loss, according to Michael Smith
1: Number of blocked punts returned for a touchdown in Week 1
1: Number of quarterbacks (Romo) to throw for 300 yards on the road against the Jets since 2009
2: Number of things that need to happen for the Cowboys to make the playoffs, according to Herm Edwards
36: Number of times Ben Roethlisberger has been sacked in the last 13 games
17: Steelers turnover differential last season
34: Colts’ point deficit at halftime on Sunday
2: Number of punts forced by the Colts in that game
4: Combined number of losses by Colts’ next four opponents in Week 1
More: The number of fumbles lost by Kerry Collins in one quarter as compared to Peyton Manning’s last 56 starts
2: Number of losses one of the two teams Herm Edwards isn’t worried about (or maybe Michael Smith, that’s who Matt Berry addressed but I think it was Herm who wasn’t worried about either team) is going to have after Week 3 (Steelers and Colts play in Week 3)
32: Number of times Roethlisberger was sacked last season
7, 7, “I don’t think it matters, 7 or 5”: Number of wins the Colts will have this season, according to Herm Edwards, Michael Smith and Matthew Berry, respectively
19.9, 18.1, 15.9: Percentage of entrants who took the three picks in ESPN’s “eliminator pool” (aka suicide pool), the Browns, Cardinals and Chiefs respectively; the Browns and Chiefs lost
7: The number of benefits Head & Shoulders provides, according to a commercial
39: Number of yards Donovan McNabb threw for in Week 1
“yes, only 39 yards”: Yes, the number of yards McNabb threw for
3, 2: Number of interceptions and turnovers Ben Roethlisberger had on Sunday
8, 2, 17: Number of targets, receptions and receiving yards for Dwayne Bowe on Sunday
22, 59, 2.7: Number of carries, rushing yards and yards per attempt for Frank Gore on Sunday
10, 26, 2.6: Number of carries, rushing yards and yards per attempt for Shonn Greene on Sunday
I didn’t want to type these next numbers, so I took a screenshot:
5: Number of hours of energy promised by a product advertised during Numbers Never* Lie
0, 4: Amount of sugar and number of calories contained in this product
??: Cost of Mayweather-Ortiz fight, according to the commercial
A lot: Extrapolating from that evidence, probable cost of the Mayweather-Ortiz fight
1-800-XFINITY: Number to call to order the Mayweather-Ortiz fight, if you’re an XFINITY customer like me
5: Number of defenses that allowed more yards per pass attempt than the 2010 Cardinals
1: Number of touches LeGarrette Blount had in the second half on Sunday against the Lions
11: Number of times Michael Vick was hit against the Rams on Sunday
73: Percent of ESPN Streak for the Cash players who picked the Broncos to beat the Raiders tonight, ostensibly as of 3:55 p.m. EDT, among those who had selected that game
360: The type of Xbox advertised during the program
0, 100: The bounds of the scale of ESPN’s Total QBR (quarterback rating)
17.6: Mark Sanchez’ Total QBR in Week 1
4: Sanchez’ ranking, from last, in Week 1 Total QBR
44: Number of pass attempts Sanchez had in Week 1
330: Listed weight of Ravens’ defensive tackle Haloti Ngata
1: Number of hands Rutgers’ Mohamed Sanu needed to make this TD catch Saturday
1: Number of yards Luke McCown was short of a first down when he celebrated as if he had made a first down
8 months ago